Chris Jackson
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Twenty questions with C.J – Chris Jackson

 

1.   What’s your full name and what are you currently up to (this is your only chance to shamelessly plug yourself)

Just recently started working as a Consultant for an Information Technology “Start-up” company, called Knowledgeware Pty Ltd (www.myknowledgeware.com).  Our mission is to change the world by providing a software product that will challenge the way people manage their businesses.  My mission is to make it work, so I can fill my wallet and retire to play golf ASAP.

Of course most people know I’m married by now – lucky woman.  Well, I now have 2 boys Benjamin Flynn & Thomas Ambrose Jackson.  The future Centre Half Forward and Centre Half Backs of the Mighty Lions Premiership dynasty, that will make the current “Three-peat” going on “Four-Play” premiership run look minuscule.

Managed to lower my Golf Handicap to 17 over the last 6 months, and now have Kev “Judge Smails” Nolan in my cross hairs.

 

2.   Exactly how tall are you and what is the heaviest you have weighed?

197 cm tall, and at heaviest 126 Kg.

But, after being called a taller ‘Powelly’, it was time to do something about my girth.  I convinced Powelly a 2 slab bet was enough incentive to be the first one to lose 20 Kg.  Well, I’m well on the path to drinking those slabs losing 14 Kg over the last 6 months, and its good to see Powelly got serious about the bet and put on an extra 14 Kg, to be enormous.

 

3.   Under the current incentives system, how many drinkcards do you think you would've staked claim to in your prime?

Unfortunately, I don’t know the incentives system not playing for the last 5 years, but it would be fairly safe that a few would have come my way.

Over a 10 year playing career at the Hawks you could say there were a couple of different drinking phases.  So, the number of drink cards would have been proportional to the particular phase and the effort I would have gone to get a free beer.

 

4.   What was your greatest moment you achieved as a Hawks cricketer?

Team wise, playing in the Premierships teams, especially the first one in my first year at the Hawks.

Personally, getting the figures 7/7 against Burwood Districts, the same club the First XI beat this year for the Premiership.  Couldn’t happen to a ‘nicer’ club!!

Everytime I hit a batsman, especially in the head or just under the heart!!

 

5.   Who where the greatest players you saw at the club?

Blokes like Andrew ‘Forey’ Newman who tried to smash the first ball of an innings for a six – inspiring stuff for a lower order batsman like myself.  Brett ‘Psycho’ Powell, Justin ‘Junior’ Goddard and Stu Wynd, who on their day could destroy any attack much to the delight of us in the pavilion.  Glen Mahoney for batting consistency and Matty ‘Humphrey’ Silva for slip catching.

 

6.   What is the funniest thing you have seen on a cricket field?

There are 3 things that stand out in my mind. 

 

Not technically in a game, but on the cricket field was Kevin Nolan doing long catching practice at training one night.  Kev made good ground to a high ball, but his training ‘Blunderstones’ failed him at the crucial time and he slipped.  The sight of Kev spread eagle on the ground at the precise time the ball hit him in the groin I’ll never forget.  I nearly wet myself as I rolled around on the ground in laughter, along with everyone else doing the fielding exercise.  Thanks Kev for the everlasting memory.

 

My 2nd game in the seniors at Woolsthorpe where this ‘pasty white’ old bloke who opened the batting, got hit in the groin and was carried off  the ground.  Eventually, he dropped his pants as he explained his old fella was protruding from the box at the time of impact.  Here I was a 14 year old, looking at this white bloke with a charcoal black donger.  I still laugh every time I recite the story.  Probably, caused some deep psychological damage as well.

 

Lastly, that prick one arm umpire trying to signal a wide.  I’ll never forgive him for cheating and costing us the premiership.

 

7.   Who is the most famous person you have met?

 

Kylie Minogue, in a night club in SOHO, London.

Yes, she is that gorgeous and tiny.  I could have easily put her in my trouser pocket, or was that just wishful thinking.  Actually, she was very nice and took time to speak to a tall drunken ‘blood nut’ Antipodean.

 

8.   If someone was going to play the part of C.J in a movie about your life story, who would it be?

 

Nicolas Cage, a well educated, well groomed, sophisticated and suave man who could easily depict the white-line fast bowler mentality on the sporting arena, along with my gentlemanly nature off it.

 

9.   Which player at the club (past or present) deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

 

Don’t know maybe Kev or Powelly, as it would be the only way to shut them up.  Another candidate would be Pickers for the Chilli Sauce on my pie one night after the Tunnel.

 

10.  You grew up in one of the greatest eras of mullets ever. How good was your mullet and what effort did you go to in order to cultivate it

 

Can honestly say I resisted the temptation of a mullet.  Not a good look for a Red Head.

 

11.  Have you ever been arrested? If so why?

 

An upstanding citizen like myself has never got in trouble with the law, or at least I’m not going to admit it.

 

Although, I have had an experience with a extremely irate Russian policeman pointing  a machine gun and shouting at me in Russian of course, for standing on a statue for a photograph opportunity.

 

12.  If you won a million dollars what would be the first thing you spent it on?

 

Andrea my wife, as she has it already spent.

 

If I do have a say, probably a house in Warrandyte, BMW M3 and a golf membership to “The Heritage” in Wonga Park.

 

13.  What is your biggest achievement off the field?

 

My two boys; Benjamin and Thomas Jackson.

 

14.  Who would you least like to see naked?

 

At the Club, it would have to be Powelly and Turtle.

Outside the Club, Drew Carey, Kim Beasley and Rosanne Arnold.

 

15.  Has C.J ever

-     Had a beer with Martin Pike?

-     Yes, after the 2002 Grand Final win against Collingwood at the family day at Brunswick St Oval.  The guy is an absolute legend.

-     Signed an autograph?    

-     Yes, always get mistaken for a basketballer and I hate the game.  So, I do it just to piss them off.     

-     Owned a Billy Joel Cd? 

-     Yes, Greatest Hits

-     Prostituted himself for a free bed for the night ?

-     Yes, I never had enough money to get back to Glen Waverley from the city during my ‘uni’ days as I drank it.  So, you choose an ugly bird and get a place to hold up for the night, until public transport was running again the next day.

-     Been kicked out of a club?

-     Yes, of course as Ivan “Barcode” Greaves would say “you’re not a real man until you’ve been kicked out of a night club”, or was that “your‘re not a real man until to defecated in your pants drunk”.

 

16.  Who are your best mates from the club?

 

Wayne deFraga, Kevin Nolan, Glen Mahoney, Glen Powell, Andrew Newman, Glen & Scott Davies, Grant Broadley. Andrew Pickering, Justin Goddard

 

18. You grew up with the Battlers Prince Glen Mahoney – What’s the craziest thing you ever saw the Battlers Prince do in his young and reckless days?

 

One golf trip, I think it was Yarrawonga.  It was the first night and basically “Mahns” had lost all his money betting and couldn’t walk he was that drunk, but wanted to kill the security guard who was telling us to quieten down at 4.00am in the morning.  Which we probably should have anyway, as the tee off time was 6.30am

 

17.  Name the three highlights and 3 lowlights of C.J’s life

-     Highlight

-     My two boys births

-     Bungy Jumping 111 metres at Victoria Falls, Zambia

-     Kicking the winning goal after the siren in the U16 Grand final

 

-     Lowlights

-     Losing 2 Grand Finals as Captain of the First XI at the Hawks

-     Losing to “Barcode” in darts.

-     A stupid woman running a red light and ‘T-boning’ my driver side door last year.

 

18.  Living in South Melbourne and playing at the Hawks you had a lot of travel time – what was the fastest you ever got one of your sports cars up to coming down the freeway to cricket?

 

240km/h in the Subaru WRX and 250km/h on the Honda VFR750 on the South Eastern Freeway.  Stu Wynd experienced it first hand one night heading into the Sport Bar in King Street one night where we met Merv Hughes.

 

 

19.  Tell us about the time you had four flat tyres and who do you suspect may have been involved?

 

Basically, we lost the Grand Final so I didn’t want to hang around.  No really, I had to go to a good friend’s wedding (reception only) and the boys didn’t want me to go.  I had to drive about 5 kms with 4 flat tyres, pump them up and continue onto South Melbourne.

 

Nobody ever owned up, and rightly so – as you don’t stuff around with my cars.  Anyway, I still believe “Mahns” and “Barcode” had something to do with it.  Let’s just say it will come out eventually, and revenge is always sweet.

 

20.  Any chance of a comeback?

 

No chance.  While I miss the mateship (which translates to sledging each other) within the team environment, I don’t miss chasing leather on 40+ degrees days when I could be at the races.

 

Just concentrating on my golf game these days!!  Actually, there could be a chance the way I play.  But, it wouldn’t be with those hacks in the One Day Team, who play every weekend anyway.  Good Luck next year boys, just drop Powelly he is a bad luck omen.