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What’s your full name and what are you currently up to (this is your only chance to shamelessly plug yourself)

My full name is Greg Campbell McCallum

       I am currently the father of two beautiful children, Ashley and Patrick, married to Pina and gearing up for premiership number 15 in 2004.

       I work at Best Western Australia as Brand Expansion Manager for VIC, SA & TAS

You came out of the Garwain Parade Backyard Cricket Academy, how much do you attribute that to your success at Glen Waverley Hawks over the years?

I contribute my success, or more appropriately “lack of it” directly to the Garwain Pde cold rum. Due to the brick wall on the leg side, which made it impossible to play on side shots I developed a total reliance on off side play which turned my wagon wheel at the hawks over a 17 year period to a total of seven on side shots. (All off inside edges!!) 

In these days of Internet Porn and Sony Playstations, do you think it's a lot harder for young cricketers to make it in the 'Big Time' who do not come out of such a Backyard Academy?

No doubt. The basic killer instinct most cricketers poses is developed under the highly intensive one hand one bounce rule generally applicable to every backyard cricket match anywhere in Australia.

I know a couple of years back you were trying to mould yourself into an Adam Gilchrist type opener, who would you say your career was molded on over the seasons prior to that?

Trying is the key word in this question as I quickly realised my limitations and the fact my power game has serious restrictions!! I quickly went back to my backyard roots. 

Under the current incentives system, how many drinkcards do you think you would've staked claim to in your prime?

Difficult to say. Probably very few.

What was your greatest moment you achieved as a Hawks cricketer?

Probably under 16 premiership along with two centuries and a plethora of outstanding catches ranging from second slip gems to deep mid wicket John Dyson like efforts.

My tactical nous during my tenure as Captain was always underated when you consider the rabble I was working with during that three year period.

Also my advice to both Ivan Greve and Marc Goddard as they went out to bat against whoever and returned with a 200 plus partnership under there belt for the last wicket. Obviously stirring stuff!!

Who where the greatest players you saw at the club?

I would have to say Forey was a sight in full flight. Justin Goddard had the all round game. It was amazing at times to consider he was a gun bat anywhere in the order. A very cagey and dominant bowler (Averaged 14 or something!) and the best slip catch you are probably ever going to see. (Apologies to M. Silva and G. Mahoney who were also very, very good slip fielders)

A guy called Kirin O’Dwer (see Bonner) also played three games in the seconds from memory and was as talented a player you are ever likely to see. Only sheer boredom stopped a hatrick of centuries.

Tell us a little about your time living with Stewie Wynd

I had a great time. I remember driving him home from the cricket club with Shaun one night on the bonnet of my car. We lived about 2 Km’s away and I reckon we were travelling at about 60 km’s an hour the whole way. Looking back now had he had slipped off he would have died for sure the poor lad!

Stuart also had a passion with producing a video camera any time of the day, mainly evenings which kept everyone in the house on their toes!!

Who is the most famous person you have met?

I played Roulette with Magic Johnson at a casino in Monte Carlo for half an hour in 1995. Justin Feenstra and Adie Costello can back up this story as they were there as well.

I met Nathan Buckey once which off course surpassed the above meeting in an instance!!

If someone was going to play the part of Greg McCallum in a movie about your life story, who would it be?

Difficult question, Perhaps Rove McManus, why? I have no idea, maybe the Mc thing we have happening!

Which player at the club (past or present) deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

I would have to say Billy Lean, that guy was out of control. The dressing down he would give us at tea or post match was as if we were 1 for 225 chasing 230 to win a world cup and we were bowled out for 229! Relax Billy, as long as the beer was cold after the match no one cared!!

The fact that he thought he had the skill of Ian Botham grated me a tad as well!!

Have you ever been arrested? If so why?

Whilst I’m not proud of it I would have to say yes. Jail is a very underrated experience to be honest I look back and treat my 8 hours with hard nosed crims as a learning experience.

In saying that, I was terrified!

Just how many times did you go for your licence and did you ever consider getting your mum to drive you around forever?

Just the three times and yes if I had not got it on the third attempt I may just have given the game away. I believe the standard of driving instructors has picked up substantially since the Donkey I had attempted to teach me!!!

If you won a million dollars what would be the first thing you spent it on?

Audi A4 Family and friends. Donation to CFC!

What is your biggest achievement off the field?

Probably children. I know boring answer however they are great value.

Who would you least like to see naked?

The obvious one is myself however it’s hard to avoid at times. Probably a guy I used to play senior footy with the Waverley Sainters. It would just remind me again how I underachieved in certain development areas!!

Has Greg McCallum ever

-     Gotten drunk with Mick McGuane? No

-     Signed an autograph?                Your kiddin, No.

-     Owned a Billy Joel Cd?              Yes and proud of it Piano Man.

-     Prostituted himself for a free bed for the night?  Kind of!

-     Been kicked out of a club? As a 16, 17 year old I would say I was probably asked to leave opposed to being  “kicked out” on many an occasion!! I guess it’s just part of the learning experience!!

Name the three highlights and 3 lowlights of Greg McCallums life

Highlights

-     Family (I know it’s a cliché)

-     Great circle of mates who I would trust in any circumstance.

-     Spending two years in London

Lowlights

-     Realising I needed glasses into my last full season at the Hawks after 17 years of visually impaired       performances. Probably cost me 8000 runs. Somehow held on to the catches in saying that!! (Forget             my last few years, before that 175 for two dropped)

-     Never winning a senior grand final.

-     Losing the ball in the outfield when be captained by Haydan Bristow. I think the opposition ran 9.       Well the grass was that bloody long!!!

Any chance of a comeback?

After Christmas!!