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In this anticipated first edition, returning club legend Tony “Tonner” Medina pulls up a chair and has the microphone thrust in his face to have a chat with Punts:

Punts: Evening mate!

Tony: Evening Punter. Bit nervous here.

P: No need to be mate. Just you, me, and an audience of thousands.

T: Really?!

P: No, I can’t back that up. Probably more in the ten’s, but wait till this website really takes off, you’ll be a superstar.

T: I already am!

P: Touché! You know none of the questions so far count towards the 10.

T: Damn.

P: Got a middle name there champ?

T: James

P: Favourite Sport other than cricket, and your favourite sporting moment of all time?

T: Football, and in particular having a punt on the footy. Ted Whitten’s lap of honour at the state of origin game, it still brings a tear to the eye and a lump in the throat every time they show it in full.

P: Yep, one of the great moments. One of those ones where you remember where you were watching it. I miss my state of origin.

Any individual great sporting achievements?

T: Playing in the Holden Scramble Regional Finals in 1996 at Woodlands and having a blinder and our team finishing third, just missing on the final at Port Douglas.

P: Loser! And a tip for the Cup this year?

T: I don’t really follow the horses Punts, but if I had to name one I go with The Diva.

P: Good call, won’t be too far wrong there, mind you the challengers are coming, but gee it would be great to see her do it. Changing tack now mate, time to get a little more into the psyche of that balding melon of yours…

T: Watch it!

P: …Loving your new nickname of the Hulkster – that one’s going to stick champ! Wait till Turtle gets you a bandana to wear! What’s your idea of the perfect first date?

T: A good meal, lots of alcohol, home for a bit of horizontal folk dancing and a good sleep then brekkie in bed next morning served by the naked wench and more pushmacundi! You have to establish your sexual rep in the early days of the relationship, or at least that is how I remember it. Nowadays my perfect first date would be a good meal, lots of alcohol, watch any sporting event on Foxsports or ESPN (and I mean anything, just the other day I was watching the US scrabble championship!) ,maybe a documentary on the ABC, early night with plenty of snoring, that really turns on the women!

P: You animal you! Am often kicked to the couch myself after a night on the Bundy and Coke and Red Wine. Speaking of drinking, what’s your best effort or a feat that’s sticks in the mind and heart?

T: You know the best night, would have to be going way back, Frank Banner & I hooked up at the View around 3.30pm on Friday arvo, we drank Ouzo in every form: Jellybeans & Yarra’s (very strong ouzo & coke, f**k-all coke) played pool till all hours, went back to his house in the ansett-mobile and drank all of Pete’s liquor cabinet, slept in the bunks (probably where I developed my snoring technique) and we fronted up for junior cricket as coach and manager the next morning on about two hours sleep, thank god they hadn’t invented breathalysers then , you couldn’t get away with that nowadays!

P: Haha. Great effort. The kids you were coaching probably went home p..sed and got a spanking from their mother’s for reeking like booze. Shame on you for drinking Muddy Waters (Ouzo) though, that’s stuff’s terrible and should be left to the chockie frogs. And a hello to you Franky if you’re listening out there!

Who would win a battle between a shark and a Darwin salt-water croc and why?

T: I think the croc would win, because the croc is a dinosaur and has still survived everything humans and predators have chucked at it, and I think the popularity of croc-skin handbags never took off, but because of the legend, Kevin Bartlett, I have a piece of flake every Friday night religiously.

P: I think I’ll have to rewind the tape on that answer later on and review it…that was a strange answer even by my standards! Speaking of strange, strangest place you’ve thrown a leg over?

T: Ask your mum Punter!!!!!

P: So it was you feeding her the biscuits?!

T: Just joking!!! It’s been a long night, just how many Q’s are there?

P: Hey, I’m the one asking the questions here!! We’re nearly there…

T: No names, no pack drill, but I went to visit a sick girlfriend once and whilst visiting got a bit aroused by the flannelette and nailed her up against the closed door whilst her parents were having their lunch just on the other side of the closed door. Thank you for bringing that memory back.

P: No probs. Hope her sickness wasn’t related to any itching or scratching!

T: All good

P: All good alright! Strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

T: Same girl, in so many different places!! We used to have a saying, “are you hungry?” it worked both ways.

P: Hahahahahahahahaha. Fantastic! The old Sideways Sloppy Joe! Hope the juniors aren’t reading this, or at least aren’t following! Better get off that line of questioning before I get in trouble (you already are!!).

The question I love, as someone always gets offended – and generally it’s everyone’s best mate, Boner – but who’s your favourite player at the club and why?

T: There are so many from the old days, how do you go past Smails, Powelly, Bish, Slugger, Clubber, Great Man, and those pesky Newmans. I am wrapped to be part of it this year and if I was forced to put anyone in front of this bunch it would have to be a tie between Glenn Powell and the Judge, both of whom I have known since childhood and never judge me and are always glad to see me, I hope I haven’t offended anyone.

P: Only Boner! Powelly will be happy he got a mention also! You’ll love me by the end of the year too darling

T: No doubt honey.

P: Alright, winding this up, something perhaps you can share with us that we mightn’t know about you (e.g. Charity work, cross-dresser, etc.)?

T: I have been the School Council President of Marnebek Special School in Cranbourne since 2000.

P: And that’s through your little boy Josh.

T: Yeah mate, Josh was born with Down Syndrome. He’s such a special little kid and I’ve come to get so much from him, to the extent he has made me feel very special also. I have been married to Leanne for16 years and have three children-Amber 12, Josh 11 & Abbey 10.

P: Fantastic mate. Any final comments?

T: My golf handicap is 19, and more than anything I hope I can contribute to the club in some form and look forward to the year ahead.

P: We’ll thank you for your time Hulkster and contributing to “10 With Punts” in this inaugural edition. If I’ve taken one thing away from this, it’s that I am never going to ask you “are you hungry?”!! Urrrgghhhh.

T: Thanks Punter

P: Pleasure.